A Condescending Pat on the Head

[read like that movie announcer guy]

In a world where everyone is special, but non-conformity is unacceptable.
In a game where there are no losers, but there are no winners.
In a time when feeling better about yourself is more important than actually achieving something.
Today is: 5th Grade Graduation day.

I graduated from High School and then later on from College. I don't remember going through any kind of ceremony for completing kindergarten, grade 5, middle school (used to be called Jr. High), or anything else. But I do remember receiving certificates of participation. I also remember receiving ribbons or trophies for winning races or other such competitions. Guess whether I saved the certificates or the trophies? How many framed certificates of participation do you have on your wall?

We are bringing up our children with the idea that all they have to do is go along with the crowd; all they have to do is grow a year older; all they have to do is participate, and they will have earned our praise and should feel like they have accomplished something. Do our children really need this sort of condescension? Does it really help them to say that no one is keeping score? Is self-esteem more important than correction or direction?

How is it that the so-called 'greatest' generation won a world war, and turned the US into an industrial and economic superpower, but their parents spanked them with switches and made them walk to school in the snow? Shouldn't they have been emotional wrecks unable to contribute to the good of the society?

The bar has been lowered to the least common denominator. Those who wish to excel are only allowed to do so in very controlled situations. Many kids today do not want to excel. They don't have to. 'A's are handed out too easily. Every grade level has lowered expectations of what should be learned from just a generation ago. Here is one harbinger of the downfall of Western Civilization: It is possible to make a living as a professional skateboarder. (This could also be a subject of another blog: the difference between so-called sports and recreational activities.)

With the bar being lowered, we reward the mundane (we want the children to feel better about themselves) and discourage the curve busters (we don't want the other children to feel inadequate). What are the consequences of elevating losers to normalcy and dragging winners down to stand with the common folks? We become a nation of mediocre underachievers.

If we remove the competitive nature of life, we remove incentive to excel. Perhaps this is what was intended all along. If we grow up learning less and less each succeeding generation, if we fail to learn history or the art of logical thinking, if we are ingrained with the idea that we should do just enough to get by and nothing more, then we are ripe for a fall.

What does this have to do with watching your kid in a 5th grade graduation ceremony? Maybe nothing, maybe everything. This seemingly innocuous pat on the head might be a way to encourage and reward a child for a job well done, but it might also be a symptom of a decaying society, broadcasting to the world that we are both unaware and unwilling to fight complacency within.

Put that on a Hallmark card.